A Journey to the Other Side

John was floating. We walked by the lab with no weigh in his legs, floating everywhere, enjoying every task, every single second. Nothing would take him apart from the dream he was living.
He was going for a coffee. He had 45 min until the next step of his protocol, and counting when somebody called him.
“Hey John! Someone is here for you.”
“Be right there.”
“Hi!” He was surprised, truly surprised and maybe pleased too, but he was having a hard time putting words together and generate sentences.
“I was nearby and decided to show up and see if you wonna grab a coffee or something.”
“Sorry. Hi Maryann. I was just going on my way out to get a coffee. I would love to.”
They went down the stairs and walked in the sunset. John was getting the feeling that Maryann had something to tell him and he knew he wanted to tell her what happened today but he had no idea how to start.
All in a sudden Maryann made the right question, the question he was waiting for but he had no idea that it could be so simple:
“You shine today. What happened?
Those words left her mouth but she was trying to avoid it, she wasn't sure she wanted to hear his answer. Since the very first second in the lab that she noticed that he was different. He was confident, happy, in harmony with everything surrounding him. And she was sure she wasn't the cause of that and she was afraid to hear his words. But what the hell, she said it so she had to listen.
“Is it that clear? I know I'm not that good hiding my feelings, but I had no idea it was so clear.
I got a letter today, one I was expecting for the last few weeks. I applied for a research position in Europe and today I got a letter saying that I was the chosen one. I'll be leaving as soon as I get my degree. All I've ever wished for is now becoming true.”
Maryann had no idea how she felt. A mix of relief and sadness was hitting her pretty hard. She couldn't say a word.
“Are you feeling well? You don't look that good.”
“No, I'm fine. Just a little dizzy.”
“Are you sure? You've been feeling that for a long time?”
“No, don't worry, it's really nothing.”
Strangely they fell in silence for a long time, both staring at their coffee mugs and drinking in silence.
John was always very straight and he was able to make the questions he wanted whenever it seemed inappropriate.
“Can I make you a really inappropriate question?”
“Sure. I won't promise to answer, but you can ask anyways.”
“In fact I have two: Why you came to see me today? I know it wasn't just a random thing.”
“And the second?”
“What do you feel for me?”
Maryann was surprised. John mentioned before he could do this, make THE question everyone is thinking about but no one says it.
“So I guess you're not the only one to be bad at hiding feelings.”
John was waiting for an answer but he couldn't stop feeling that he shouldn't have said a thing! “She seems upset. You should learn how to keep your mouth shut! But you have nothing to lose, do you?”
Maryann started to talk: “First let me congratulate you. It is amazing when people achieve what they dream. And the reason I'm here is also because I achieved the dream I've been running after and I'd like to know also what you feel for me. Not that it will change anything in my decisions, but everything was so strange and sudden that I'd like to know what I'm dealing with.”
“I was intending to tell you, but I asked first. But before that, what is the dream you achieved?”
“I volunteered to the UN to go to Africa for at least two years and they answered me yesterday.”
“You don't seem very happy. What's wrong?”
“Honestly, I don't know what to do. I really want to go, it's all I've been dreaming for the last months, but know I'm not sure it is the best for me.”
“If you're not sure, don't decide now. Give yourself some time and let things flow. You'll see things will happen naturally.”
“I already accepted. I leave in 2 weeks.”
John shivered. He was completely surprised not only with the words that Maryann just said but also with the consequence that those words had in himself. Was he feeling something more for her?
They both were speechless for a long time and Maryann decided to break the ice.
“I don't know what I feel for you, and I feel terribly for not having the chance to stay to find out. But I guess you won't stay much longer either. I guess it wasn't meant to be!”
“I'm staying a couple of months more than you, not a few days more!” John was sour.
“No need to be like that. You know exactly what I meant!” She harsh back.
“Sorry, I didn't mean it. I don't know either what I feel for you, but I would love to find out and there's no time. Guess you're right, it really wasn't meant to be. At least not now, not here.”
“You really think we'll have another chance to find out?”
“I'm pretty sure that if it has to happen it will happen. It may not be here, nor soon, but if it has to be...”
“It's really comforting to think like that. I wish life was that simple.”
“I know I seem a bit apart from reality, but life is much more simple to understand than we usually think. It's hard, no doubt about it, but it's not so complicated.”
And they continued discussing the way they faced life, and how they had different concepts of God and love.
John forgot completely the things he left in the lab and he invited Maryann for dinner. She felt two things in the invitation: “I'm gonna love this dinner, but I'm not gonna sleep home, and I will regret...”

The snow was back again when John woke up. It was sunny outside and from his 13th floor condo he could see people outside, down there like ants, all covered with synthetic clothes.
He knew it was finally time to take the winter jacket out of the closet and maybe the snow boots.
He came downstairs to check the mail: “Crap, crap, bills, more bills...”
He stopped. The letter he was waiting for was there in his hands.
He was going to finish his degree in 3 or 4 months and he applied for a research position at an European University. It would be tough to get it, but he knew he had a chance. He glanced the letter on his way back to his condo fight the urge to know what's inside... Would he get it? Well the question now was more did he got it?
It took him a lot of time to get the guts to open it and almost as much to unfold it and read it.
“Fuck it! Here goes!”
He unfolded it and started to read:

“Dear Mr. Whittaker,
We are pleased to inform you that your application was chosen to the position available at our institute.
Attached is the final standings for all the 25 selected candidates and also instructions for, in case of acceptance by you, the normal procedures.

Truly yours,

William D. Borrow”

He was thrilled, astonished, in chock. His dreams were becoming true. He was going to Europe and maybe travel the whole world doing research. All he ever wished.
He spent the next hours phoning everyone, his parents, his friends, his supervisor, and the the terrible moment of the whole day hit him like a thunder: was he going to phone Maryann?
She wasn't a friend, at least not a long time friend and they never talked about his dream, his opportunity to go to Europe. But at the same time that was the perfect excuse to phone her without seeming too glued.
Luckily he had not to make a choice. He had to be in the lab in 20 minutes, he had no time for another phone call.

He wondered around for hours. He couldn't sleep. He felt the urge to see the sun rising, to be surrounded by wonderful things, surrounded by beauty and peaceful thoughts. He didn't want to fall asleep and miss his date. He couldn't show up too soon so he wouldn't seem too anxious, but he couldn't go too late and just spend a few minutes with her. He wanted to know her better, but only if she was willing to give herself too. He wasn't going to put any pressure on her, but he was going to try his best to please her. Trying not to be boring and not too amusing. “And I hope she won't remember last night. But it would be better if she remembers something. Like the light in the sky, that would be nice... No! She will think you're a maniac.”
This self inquisition lasted for almost half the morning, at least until he noticed that he was starving and it was almost noon, by the position of the sun...
He headed home, ate some pizza, took a shower and shaved. “You do look sexy!” he said to his mirror. He looked at the clock again – 12:55. “I guess I missed that shitty class again!” He left home.

Maryann woke up feeling a bit dizzy and starving. Luckily Danielle had brought the night before some Doughnuts, cookies and a bottle of that strawberry-banana juice that she loves.
The day was wonderful. A clear blue sky exhibit a shinny sun. But it was for sure a very cold morning. So many people wearing gloves and toques.
Maryann found herself looking through the window, trying to find John between the crowds. “And you believe he will come after how you treated him early today? And even if he will come, it's still soon!”
She decided to rest a bit. And with the sun lightning her face she fell asleep.

When she woke up the sun was starting to fall. She had no idea for how long she'd been sleeping but she was feeling sleepy, the same way she used to feel when she oversleeps.
She moved slowly in bed:
“Good afternoon, or should I say good morning?” a men's voice sounded, sweetly and softly. Her first thought was – what a nice way to wake up – but then she worried.
“John? What time is it?”
“Almost 4 pm.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Not too long, but enough time to know you sleep like an angel!”
She blushed but he couldn't see it. She tried to stand but she felt a little dizzy laid in bed again.
“Are you OK?”
“Yeah, just a bit dizzy. I should have had lunch but I don't think anyone woke me up for that.”
John helped her to stand and stayed aside near the window.
Outside everything was white. Snow had fallen in the meanwhile. The hospital's yard was all covered by snow, and only the dark concrete roads were standing still. Kids playing in the yard. She could barely see their eyes. Colorful toques and scarves made them look so happy. She could almost hear their laughs.
“In a few minutes everything became white and freezing. I wish I was a kid too so I could still enjoy the first snow fall.”
“And why can't you? Is there an age limit to enjoy the little things in life?”
“No, but you know... I can't go outside and play with the kids. People will think that I'm either crazy or I'm a psycho trying to kidnap one of the kids.”
“People think this, people think that! That's why everyone is so unhappy, their always thinking about what others may think. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all be happy and respect each other?”
“'Guess you're right. But is it worth to take the risk of being arrested or locked in a psychiatric institution?”
“Is it worth to live?”
A deep cold silence filled the room.
“Let’s leave that for some other time. Danielle was trying to explain me what happened but it all seemed so confusing. Can you tell me what happened?”
The sun was shining in every snow flurry as it was leaving the stage for the full moon to show up. They talked and talked until a nurse showed up to tell them that it was time for John to leave.

They spoke about what happened that night and for John's surprise she mentioned the light in the sky. John told her that the cops identified a group of kids playing with boat's signaling signs that night and that probably that's what they both have seen.
They also talked about how she got the princess costume and how she quitted Medical school. He told her about how he wanted to travel the world and how science was the best way to achieve it.
Timed passed so sweetly that he felt he could stay there, talking with her forever.
He walked home with a disguised smile in his face, so pleased for a wonderful afternoon, but so afraid to show his feelings to the world.
He needed to talk to someone, and even though we needed to sleep too he headed to his best-friend's place. Mark would understand him. He could give him some good advice... He would certainly do so.

III

John freezed. He had no idea what to do. Halloween night, a light in the sky, a princess in his arms.
Slowly he started to be awake again. Without taking his arms around her he gently laid her warm body on the floor and took his jacket to support her head.
“She's so beautiful!”
John shacked his head trying to put that thought away. “It's no time to listen to your heart. He tricked you so many times” he said to himself trying to wake her at the same time. She was warm, her face was light pink. She didn't seem hurt. Just having a sweet sleep with sweet dreams. Only one thing to do – call 911!

Princess, princess! She could hear a voice but all was so dark and so strange. She couldn't find the strength to open her eyes, to answer back, to even move. She could feel a kind of warm touch in her face and a strange feeling of safety.
Then the silence was broken by a sudden lightning sound. She could hear people talking but she couldn't understand what they were saying.
She felt herself lifting, as if she was truly levitating, and suddenly some peace of mind took care of her.
“No mom, I don't want to wake up. The school will be closed today. There's too much snow.” and she wrapped herself in the blankets.
Princess, princess, wake up!
She could hear him now and she was moving her hands and legs. Maybe she could also speak: “Yes?” She could speak. Could she open her eyes? Yes, but there's too much light. Everything is so white and bright. But after a few seconds she was able to look around. “Where am I? A hospital? Why?” And where was that voice that kept calling her princess?

John was now sitting in the waiting room. He looked at the clock in the wall and then confirmed the time in his watch: 4:55 am. Almost 11 hours passed since they got there. He was told she was fine, no brain damage, but she needed some rest. “Do you know her? What's her name? She has no ID with her and nobody is looking for her.”
This was what he was told when they got there. A few hours latter a very handsome lady showed up. Danielle, that's how she introduced herself: “I'm Maryann's sister.” Maryann, John said to himself, that's your name princess...
“She's awaking!” They both ran to the doctor. “Only family can come in!” John was turning his back when he was caught in surprise: “He's my... husband!” The doctor gave John a very suspicious look and John replied with a very serious cold face.
John had no idea why Danielle acted like that. In those hours they spoke not more than some minutes. But John didn't know that Danielle was always looking for a boyfriend for her sister, and she could notice how concerned he was, almost as much as she. “He's handsome, good looking... Why not?”

“Who are you?”
“I'm John. We crashed on the street and you fainted into my arms.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Calm down Maryann. He stayed outside for almost 11 hours waiting to know you well.” Then whispering “And he's cute!”
Maryann stayed in silence. There was a stranger in her room because her sister thought he was cute. “He's in fact cute, but he may also be a psycho. Danielle will never stop trying to get me a boyfriend.”
“Well, I guess I should be going. I hope you'll get well soon. And sorry for disturbing you.”
John was not the kind of guy to make his will prevail no matter what. He felt his princess was in no mood. As he was leaving the room Danielle called for him:
“Wait John. I think Maryann has something to tell you.”
When he turned back the sisters were exchanging flashing looks.
“Sorry, I was a jerk. I'm just pissed to be in the hospital. Thank you for taking care of me.”
“No problem. It was the least I could do.”
“And John, if you can come back tomorrow to make her some company. I really have a very full day.”
“Danielle! I'm sure he's a very busy person too to come to the hospital babysitting a stranger on a Friday!”
“I may be able to show up, but only if it's not an inconvenient for you.”
“Of course it isn't. She will love to talk to you. You'll tell her better what happened than me. So, see you John. It was a pleasure. And thanks again for taking care of my little sister.”
“No need to thank!”
John left the hospital room trying to look cold and concentrated, but inside a shiver was expanding and could blow in a smile any moment now, and he couldn't let Maryann see it.

II

Maryann was the kind of girl that knew exactly what she want, and always had to fight to get it. She went to Medical School and stayed there with the best grades of her class for long 4 years until she decided that she would never be able to send someone home because they're fine and knowing that they will sleep in the nearest park.
She quitted Medical School and started to work as a volunteer in the city food bank until she could figure out what she wanted to do.
Without quitting the food bank she decided to apply to the School of Arts and was accepted for painting.
Half-way in her undergraduation, and being considerably older than her colleagues, she held to her “job” at the food bank so she could keep a sane mind!
But on Halloween day she always joins her sister Danielle and her niece Amber for trick or treat. And like the last years she just picked up the first costume she could find in the suit-case in the basement that she inherited from Mrs. Blorvic, an old usual at the food bank that had been an actress in the ex-Yugoslavia and when the war started just ran with a suit-case full of old dresses from old roles she had performed.
One day Mrs. Blorvic came to Maryann and asked her to take care of her clothes and to wear them once in a while because she was going back home in a very, very long trip, “and maybe one day I will see you again”. The next day Mrs. Blorvic was found dead at a hotel room at the Hilton dressed in a golden 50's dress with a ten thousand dollar pearl necklace.
But there wasn't even a trace of sadness in Maryann every time she opened the suit-case. She could always remember the stories that Mrs. Blorvic used to tell her, and unlike most, she never repeated one in the few months they talked.
It was time to pick up a costume to go trick or treating with Amber. She needed a few minutes to remember what costume she used last year... “Yes! I was wearing Martin's Indiana Jones' costume! What will I wear this year?”
As she was talking to herself a nice red vest called her attention, and as she pulled it out of the suitcase beautiful golden bars showed up.” Princess? It's beautiful... Got to wear it!”
She was running out of time. For sure little Amber was already all dressed up and teasing Danielle because of her delay.
It was a hard dress to put on, but she was able to do it in twenty minutes. Grab the keys, put some shoes and run. “It's already dark? Damn this time saving. But the sky is beautiful tonight!”

The night was clear and cold like the last few days. But the snow was still far from falling.
“Damn! My hands are freezing!” - John said to himself, blowing the idea of a colder winter with the wind. But the wind changed direction and the thought came back, walking him from door to door for trick or treat...
Yes, the creepiest night of the year – Halloween!
Kids were running in groups – some large, some very small – from door to door, collecting bags and bags of candy, racing each other for every single door. Parents walking with their children, groups of friends laughing and shouting and John, all alone, with a pocket full nothing and the other with some spare change.

John stopped at a red light, waiting for his turn to be superior to the traffic. He pulled a cigarette from his pack. “I know, this things are going to kill me, but I'm gonna die anyway...”
He couldn't stop talking with himself, but there were some times when he hated to be alone and he felt the urge to break the silence inside of him.
After crossing the street he decided to penetrate into the darkness and try to dilute himself in the landscape. But that was almost impossible. Everyone was in a costume. Mainly kids, but some parents, or older brothers and sisters were using the excuse of taking care of their youths to get their bellies full of candy and their blood too.
All in a sudden, in the middle of the surrounding darkness, a trace of light caught John's attention. He stared but kept walking, but nothing similar showed up... THERE! And at the same time another voice repeating the same words reached John's hears as if an eco generated them. But before he could figure it out he found him self falling after hitting something or someone. Still with both hands in his had, his brain connected again and John realized that it must have been someone, it was too soft for a tree. He sat on the floor and looked ahead. In front of him, just like a mirror with a time delay, someone tried to sit too. They gazed at each other, as if the crash had affected their brain and capability of generating words and sentences. John was the first one to try to break the ice but all he could say was the worst pick-up line ever:
Sky... Light... Beautiful... You... - pointing to the sky at the same time and then pointing at her.
But her answer wasn't much better:
Light... Sky... Thanks... Cute... You...
They both blushed and looked for protection looking to the amazing hunted house right beside them.
“Oh shit! She's gorgeous and all you could say was that crap??? Dumb ass!!!!” The inner talk was a constant. He decided to get up and with no other attempt to speak he offered her his hand, which she grabbed with a smile, the most beautiful smile John had ever seen.
Now they were both standing in front of each other. Only now john realized that he was dressed as a princess, although she was probably too old for that. The 20's had already passed a couple of years ago.
Again John tried to start a conversation:
Aren't you too old for that?
“Oh, now you really did it. That's beautiful. Now she'll fly into your arms and will say she's deeply in love with you!”
She never lost her smile. She gave one step forward, always smiling, always gazing at him... and fainted in his arms.